Eliminate self doubt and boost your self-confidence.
Even the best of Ivy league graduates, CEO’s, movers and shakers, all had, or have self-doubt sneaking up at every corner. Each endeavor to push through to reach your goals is about believing in yourself. Sounds simple right?!
How do you prevail? How do you reach your goal? While questioning if everything is good, learning to filter your thoughts is key. On that note, I share my secret mantra ‘OM’.
What is OM – ORATOR ACADEMY
The chant within, the positive-talk, to push out the negative with positive affirmations, to help us move beyond self-doubt. Tuning out the negative, weeding out the unimportant, managing stress, all with positive-self-talk.
Saying positive words is enough to redirect your thoughts to turn your self-doubt in to self-confidence. While it sounds simple, it is effective only when you put it to practice by training your mind with disciplined reminders.
Training yourself to push away the unrelenting triggers of self-doubts, is a skill. Banish self-doubt and you will be on your way to creating the confident you. Learning to be aware of your thoughts and managing your emotions is a gradual process, with reminders to self every step of the way.
ENJOY your ride to accomplishing your GOALS!
OWN YOUR ‘FLAWSOMENESS’ and you will enjoy your ride to accomplishing your goals.
Setting goals with self-talk is empowering when you are true to yourself.
When you are true to yourself, you see your goals with clarity, when you see your goals with clarity, you can work towards your goals with laser sharp focus.
Make your self-talk a simple and fun exercise to help you set your goals. Talk it out loud, make lists, put sticky notes all over your mirror. Then change it, scratch it, crumple it, tear it, rewrite it, edit it, till you truly identify your strengths and flaws.
Question to ask yourself when you set goals:
• Will the end goal bring joy in your life and why?
• Will the sacrifice along the way be worth it?
• How can you make the journey fun?
• Who can you lean on to motivate you?
Dream big. Aim high. Stay focused. Be true to yourself.
The truth is, we are all FLAWED, and yet, we are all AWESOME.
Have fun and remember you are not alone!
Give your inner critic a funny name
While your inner critic can push you towards being a perfectionist, it can also burn you out and fill you with self-doubt. It is important that your inner voice of reason is fair and balanced, not harsh and cruel.
Learn to manage your inner-critic, even better make it your friend.
For example, when your inner voice says you are a poor presenter, you may label it as ‘Meany’ or ‘Scaredy’, but do analyze and write down what is holding you back from becoming a good presenter. Next, list the actionable item that will help you become a good presenter.
5 Fun steps to manage your inner-critic:
1) Give your inner voice funny names to lighten your conversation with yourself!
2) Now label your inner critics as they pop up visualizing them and mapping it with the funny names. (This will make you aware of the inner critic that pops up most frequently.)
3) Reason with your inner critic with self-talk addressing it by its name ‘Go away NAGGY, I can meet my deadline’, ‘Stop PUSHY, I will run 4 miles today.’
4) Rationalize with your inner critic by writing the pros and cons with facts and not assumptions (which most likely are your fears holding you back)
• Turn your setbacks into action items
Funny names for your inner-critic:
Self improvement is a process of growing and learning. Make the process of reaching your 2021 goals, fun and easy.
Don’t assume it’s always about you
Sorry to burst your bubble you are not on everyone’s mind and not everyone is out to get you.
When you catastrophize a situation, you tend to ‘assume it is all about you’. Be it with friends or at work place ‘assuming its all about you’, triggers unnecessary fear and anxiety cooked up by your negative thoughts. Nurturing these negative thoughts over a period of time becomes a habit and builds up on your insecurities.
Commit to the positive YOU. Break the habit to negative self-talk.
Squish the negative self-talk that automatically triggers by popping-up in your head.
When I say squish, literally visualize the negative thought and physically punch it, crush it, box it, stomp on it, flick it, just the act of doing so will help you reset your thoughts. Listening to motivational speeches or music that energizes you are also ways to channel positive self-talk.
Change your inner voice to be of a mentor or a friend you trust, now imagine them boosting your confidence with statements like:
• “You will ace it.”
• “You got this buddy.”
• “You’re capable.”
• “You goanna rock it.”
• “You ’re strong.”
• “You’re in control.”
• “You are well prepared”
• “Nothing can stop you.”
• “Go get them.”
So don’t assume it’s always about you and reprogram your self-talk to welcome positive-self-talk.
Treat yourself the way you’d treat a friend
Let us start with a self-hug! Yes, go ahead hug yourself, in fact I insist! (Do let me know how that felt!)
Ever delivered a presentation, and it didn’t exactly go as you planned?
– You feel disappointed?
– You berate yourself for having missed the bar you set for yourself?
Just as you are deliberating your mistakes, your colleagues message you:
– Congratulations on a job well done!
– Very well thought through presentation
– We should do this again for rest of the team
Now that’s quite contrary to your self-critique, isn’t it?
Well, there could be two scenarios: one, that they truly feel that you did well, or two, they are trying to be kind and positive so you don’t feel dejected, and you don’t quit. In either case, as friends and colleagues, their kindness and support will lift your spirits.
Be that kind friend to yourself. We are so overly critical of ourselves that we completely ignore our competencies and focus obsessively on our inadequacies.
Change that approach towards self. Be a friend to YOURSELF – the friend who appreciates, the friend who gives hope, the friend who inspires to do better, the friend who helps to stay focused and achieve your goals.
Tell yourself ‘I CAN’
Your mind is truly listening to everything you say. According to behavioral psychologists, ”It takes as many as 20 positive statements about yourself to counteract even one negative personal statement.”
Every individual’s head-talk varies greatly, some self-talk in full sentences; others think only in single words while for some visualizing the end victorious moment boosts their confidence. While in theory these feel simple, you need to consciously train your mind to self-talk focusing on positive thoughts and images to boost your confidence.
Choose the 5 positive things about yourself and draw energy from that, making it your positive-mantra. Maybe set them as periodic notification on your calendar or print them and frame it in your space.
Change your pep-talk to yourself from “I’ll try” to “I CAN”
1) I CAN reach my goals
2) I CAN be brave
3) I CAN overcome
4) I CAN take chances
5) I CAN make a difference
6) I CAN lose weight
7) CAN win this challenge
8) I CAN stand up to bullies
9) I CAN make my voice heard
10) I CAN succeed
Change your positive-self-talk to ‘I CAN’, and see how incredibly effective it is in helping you build your confidence.
Stop QUESTIONING yourself all the time
Don’t let self-doubt hold you back. Evaluating your thoughts are important but constantly judging yourself harshly will not make you better or more productive.
It’s very easy to get stuck in trying to make decisions. The question to ask is ‘What is holding you back from sharing your thoughts and seizing the opportunities?’
• Do you fear trying something new?
Make fear your best friend! Path to self discovery and self improvement needs you to set outside your comfort zone.
•Do you fear being judged by others?
There maybe be others who think like you and never spoke up for the very same reason of being judged. You could build a following that respects you for speaking up.
• Do you fear being wrong?
Being yourself is not about doing what is right for others, but rather doing what feels right to you. Go with your gut feeling.
Here is something that could help you.
• First, I write down the pros and cons of the decision you need to make.
• Next, engage in some other activity like, walking or working out, cooking or cleaning, showering or listening to music. During this process, your head talk will continue, arguing, fighting, sorting out the pro and cons. Now, when get back to the paper of pros and cons, by this time you will have shifted your thoughts towards a more positive direction, weeding out the necessary doubts you had, helping you to arrive at the decision you need to make. But wait – the next step is equally important – taking action. You spent time questioning yourself, now don’t let that go unheard – take action before it spirals into another round of self-doubt.
Our doubts are traitors and cause us to miss the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”Our doubts are traitors and cause us to miss the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. William Shakespeare
Try not to ‘Catastrophize’ everything
Despite our good intentions of being organized and managing our time effectively, life gets hectic, over-scheduled and the smallest slip up gets magnified in our minds.
Letting your imagination dwell upon the loss or the lost moment is what I call ‘catastrophizing’, yes it’s a made up word!
Training your mind to tackle tough moments with tenacity and moving forward is a skill you need to practice consciously. Let us be real, we all make mistakes, more so when we aim high. But remember, bouncing right back and not loosing time with negative thoughts is what will set you apart from the rest.
Don’t dwell upon the failures and misfortunes. “If you miss your train or come down with the flu, don’t treat it as a catastrophe,” said Joanne Barker on WebMD.com. “Instead, tell yourself it’s an inconvenience to cope with and then get on with your life.”
Shifting your perspective, is not easy. Positive-self talk is a great way to resolve and break down the moment, to help you realize, that what you thought was a catastrophic moment was not that of a big deal after all.
Holiday cheers everyone!
Laughter The Best Medicine – LTBM!
Stress buster, tension reliever, immune system booster, mood maker, potent, contagious LAUGHTER can even diminish physical pain.
Laughter activates the release of serotonin, which is found in the most common types of antidepressants. Serotonin is sometimes known as the happy chemical because it plays a role in regulating our moods.
Train your mind to embrace humor. You know that your thinking is impaired under stressful situtaions. Elevating the situation from the lighter side will spark creativity and unclog blocks in your mind. When you need a positive ‘pick me up’, find ways to laugh, read jokes, tell jokes, watch funny animal videos, or a funny show.
And if you are like me, make funny faces into the mirror, it will destress you in no time! OM!
Choose the company of positive people.
It’s a known fact that we are influenced by the outlook, opinions, and emotions of the people around us.
It is even more important during these restricted times to seek company of good listeners who will lift you up and vice versa. Join an online group of like minded people, join an online workout class, schedule a phone call with a friend or colleague who exudes positivity and good cheer.
Don’t forget the positive talk session with yourself.
“People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick wisely.” Hans F Hanson
Let your day start with positive thoughts.
Positive energy, positive outcome!
Waking up to start your day with a positive mindset can turn things around for you. Yesterday’s challenge can become today’s victory!
Mindset matters. Words matter. What you say to yourself matters the most.
I am not much of a morning person. I can either wake up feeling cranky and be miserable all day, or I can remind myself of things to do that day, and get started!
Start the day with an affirmation to self.